I no longer have an agent.

& I’m comfortable with that.

It wasn’t an ugly break up or anything, it’s just that we met via my competition win, when it was a guarantee that I’d sold my first book, and in the four years since then I’ve learned a lot about the kind of writer I am, and the kind of agenting relationship that I’m looking for.

To be honest, we probably should have broken off our agreement sooner, but I’ve been a scaredy-cat about being agentless, and about the prospect of having to query new agents.

BUT… this is actually very normal. Authors leave or get left by their agents for all kinds of reasons, and one of the things I’ve learned in the last few years is that a lot of my author friends are on agent relationships 2, 3 or even 4. Now, there’s no guarantee I’ll be successful getting another agent of course, but right now I feel positive, and proactive, and ready to start again on that particular train ride.

I don’t know how regularly I’ll blog about the process (because if you’ve read any of my posts before you’ll notice my posting schedule is ~chaotic~ at best) but I’m sure I will get round to it at some point. Part of the problem with blogging is that my creative life is very much a series of zeniths and nadirs to rival the Peak District, so there can be months (even, dare I say, years) when I’ve got next to nowt to even tell you. Well, I could obviously always tell you about stuff that pisses me off in my day to day life like I did with the AI post, but as a general rule I try to keep my own blood pressure a bit lower than that, now I’m in my mid-30s.

The other problem is much more idiosyncratic, and that’s that I am so ambitious and full of ideas and I never quite feel I have the time/energy to do everything.

For example - right now I have two YA novels in editing processes, plus two adult novels in draft stage which are in contention for potential self-publishing under a new name. I also have a collection of short stories PRIMED to go out to competitions and literary magazines, and an interactive fiction game I have now successfully prototyped and need to crack on with building. There are also at least two full-on fantasy novels battling for dominance in my mind at pretty much any given moment, one of which I’ve been trying to write since I was 19.

All of this is wonderful, of course, but it’s difficult to balance it with a day job, a social life, occasionally hugging my partner, occasionally doing one of my other thousand hobbies and any housework that needs doing (who am I kidding; I only do that when my mum’s coming to visit). And now I need to add ‘querying new agents’ into the mix - let’s hope my migraines eff off for the next six years or so, eh? (They won’t.)

To circle back to the agent thing, I do want to be clear that my former agent is fantastic at what she does. She’s the kind of agent you see in the Bookseller at regular intervals, getting great deals for her clients, and she was incredibly helpful to me throughout the process of my first book’s publication. If anyone reaches out to me to ask about my experience of working with her, I will have lots of positive things to say. It’s just that… our working styles didn’t gel, and now I’ve been through the meat grinder once, I have a better understanding of what to ask of a new agent before signing a contract.

So, I am currently without an agent.

& I am comfortable with that.